As the lines between our professional and personal lives are increasingly blurred, true leadership transcends workplace walls.
We are often seen outside of the confines of work and our behavior matters (perhaps even more) when we are in public spaces. Kindness outside of work can be seen as an affirmation of workplace values. On the other hand, callousness outside of work can undermine any good deed done at work. This idea was starkly highlighted to me in a recent experience I had while golfing.
I was paired with someone I knew socially but not well for a round of golf. We started with the usual conversations about work and family. They mentioned leading a group of CEOs in a monthly forum focused on leadership and business growth, inviting me to join.
During the game, this individual used a gay slur to describe leaving a putt short of the hole. This shocked me, given our earlier discussion about leadership and values. Once I regained my composure, I made it clear that such language was unacceptable and offensive.
I left that conversation knowing that there was no way I could take them seriously when discussing leadership and character. I also knew that I would never feel comfortable joining their group.
This incident got me thinking about the nature of our interactions and the integrity of our behavior in different contexts. Are we truly embodying leadership if our demeanor shifts dramatically based on our environment?
True leadership requires integrity that aligns actions with declared values, no matter the setting.
The Integrity of Consistent Behavior
Leadership is not a switch we can flip on during office hours and off during personal time. True leadership is a continuous responsibility. It requires integrity that aligns actions with declared values, no matter the setting.
I discovered a significant disconnect between the previously mentioned leader’s public persona and their private behavior. While they may present themselves as a champion of leadership principles in professional settings, their language outside of work contradicted this persona.
Authenticity in leadership is not just about how we present ourselves in formal settings, but also about maintaining consistent values in every context. Effective leaders need to embody their values across all aspects of their lives. When there is a disparity between what leaders say and how they act, it not only damages their personal reputation but also undermines their ability to inspire and influence others.
The Double-Edged Sword of Leadership
If leadership were a switch, however, it would always be on. Leadership is made up of characteristics, attitudes, and behaviors that remain consistent. And as leaders, we should accept that we are constantly on display, even when it seems like no one is looking. Wherever we are, we are always being observed.
Rather than perceiving that we are always being judged, leaders are instead always being presented with opportunities to be authentic and ethical.
My mentor and former colleague Charles Story shared with me an important lesson he learned while holding a CEO role. He once caused a panic because of what he wore to a management meeting! By forgetting to wear a company shirt to a gathering when all had planned to look unified in their attire, his team thought he was sending a signal that he was separating himself from the group. (He changed quickly and resolved the concern!)
This reality requires us to be mindful of how we are perceived. Keeping our “periscope up” – being aware of our surroundings and the people in them – is crucial. It’s about being considerate and recognizing that our actions and attitudes leave a lasting impression.
As the leader of Benton + Bradford and a community member, father, and husband, I recognize that my behavior matters in every aspect of my life. Being congruent at work, home, and in public is key to authenticity. Coaching someone about patience and grace at work, but not practicing it in my personal life, undermines my credibility. Failing to apologize for mistakes weakens my ability to teach accountability.
With my young boys who play sports, I emphasize the importance of good sportsmanship, fair play, and honesty, both on and off the field. To be a leader is to be a leader everywhere.
Always being mindful and intentional is a double-edged sword for leaders. On the one hand, consistently considering how our actions and words are perceived by others fosters a culture of respect and integrity, reinforcing our role as authentic leaders. On the other hand, it can be perceived as a burden, requiring constant self-awareness and discipline.
In my career, I’ve worked with an authentic leader who invested in my development. They provided growth opportunities, coaching, and valuable feedback, always aimed at my professional improvement. Their genuine leadership was not only effective but also drove business success.
Conversely, I’ve worked with a micromanaging leader who was inflexible and dismissive of other voices. This stifled my growth and led to poor business outcomes, shrinking the division and driving leaders away.
In my opinion, the rewards of embodying leadership 24/7 far outweigh the challenges. By maintaining our integrity and authenticity, we not only inspire those around us but also strengthen our own character. Rather than perceiving that we are always being judged, I counsel clients that we are instead always being presented with opportunities to be authentic and ethical. These are moments when we can model the behavior we’d like to see in the people around us, the behavior that is in line with our organizational and personal values.
Embodying Leadership Every Day
Returning to the experience I had on the golf course, that individual’s behavior fell well short of what I would consider leader-like. It also underscores the importance of consistent behavior in all settings. As leaders, our actions and words in public are powerful reflections of our true character. It’s crucial to embody the values we champion, not just at work, but everywhere we go. If we say one thing in a workplace setting and the opposite in another setting, credibility gets destroyed.
Leadership is a continuous journey that extends beyond the office. By treating every moment as an opportunity to lead, we uphold the true essence of leadership – one that is consistent, genuine, and always mindful of its impact.
